Finding home is like finding mate

Melvin Durai


The other day, my neighbour told me something I already knew: he was getting ready to sell his home. How did I know this? Well, for the last few weeks, I’ve seen workers repairing the home and improving the landscaping. I’ve also seen junk being removed from inside and outside the home.

When you’re selling a home, it has to look attractive for potential buyers. When you’re living in it, it can look like a dump.

Perhaps the word “dump” seems a little harsh, but that’s what many homes look like, considering how much “junk” the homeowners have collected. You’ve probably heard the old saying: “One man’s junk is another man’s treasure.” Well, let me tell you this: when my neighbour put his junk on the side of the street, no one came running to claim it as treasure. It sat outside for days until the garbage truck hauled it away.

I’d like to say that my home has no junk, but that wouldn’t be true. My wife and I have accumulated enough junk to fill an entire room. If we got rid of one-third of our possessions, our home would look better—more spacious and attractive—but we probably won’t do that until we’re ready to sell the home. That’s when appearances become ultra-important.

Just as we spruce up our homes now and then, we also spruce up ourselves. Perhaps the greatest amount of sprucing occurs when men and women meet to determine if they’d like to get married to each other. These meetings, arranged by the couples themselves or their parents, are very similar to home sales. While a potential home buyer asks, “Do I want to spend my money on this home,” a potential spouse asks, “Do I want to spend my life with this person?”

Just as homeowners put their houses on the market, parents put their sons and daughters on the market. A daughter may take the initiative herself, saying to her friends, “I’m on the market.”

Before getting onto the market, men and women spruce themselves up in various ways. Just as a house is repaired, potential brides and grooms undergo repairs, too. Some of them visit the dentist to fix chipped teeth or gaps in teeth. A few undergo cosmetic surgery, perhaps getting extra chins removed.

Just as a home seller improves the landscaping, trimming shrubs and getting unsightly weeds removed, potential mates get their hair trimmed and unsightly ear and nose hair removed. Just as homes are repainted, some people get their hair dyed, while others colour their nails and whiten their teeth.

Just as a home seller has great incentive to get rid of any extra junk, potential mates have great incentive to get rid of any extra weight. In fact, if you spot someone trying very hard to lose weight, there’s a good chance that they’re on the market.

When you’re on the market, you want to be at your very best. But what happens when you’ve found a mate, when you’re off the market? Everything falls to pieces.

Diet and exercise are no longer appealing. Who cares if you gain a little weight? For many men, gaining weight shows their wives how much they love their cooking. For many women, gaining weight shows their husbands that they plan to stay with him forever. No longer are they thin enough to be blown away in the wind.

Just as homeowners accept the flaws in their homes, husbands and wives do the same. So what if the paint has faded and the walls are cracking in some corners —at least the plumbing still works.

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