New Delhi: Back in the 1950s researchers wanted to understand what people value the most in relationships. Out of a 100 calls that were audited, researchers discovered that the most frequently used word was “I”.
This revealed a lot about the human psyche. People tend to show more concern if they are the subject of discussion, not “you”. What does that say about human relationships? Sitender Sehrawat, Motivational Speaker and Life Coach break it down for us.
People tend to feel more comfortable and positive emotions if one are valued in a relationship. It may be a relationship with your spouse, kids, business partner, and customer or with your neighbour.
But now that we must live in a whole new work-life circus, we can shift from conflicts to create harmony in our relationships. But before we can start laying a strong foundation for our relationship with others, lets see what we can do about ourselves.
Self Awareness: Most people underestimate the immense power of self-awareness and wonder why most of their relationships are less than sweet. A social lockdown can mean the liberation of our own true identity. So why not do ourselves a favor and try and fix traits in ourselves that prevent us from having great relationships with others.
Is the Confinement Hurting your Relationships?: Human beings are born with a need for society. We freak out when we are confined in our own little spaces. Spending the whole day with our families can open up a whole new perspective. Extroverts tend to get frustrate� a less than certain future, economic slowdown and if you are one of those who dig a well every day to drink then the frustration is manifold.
All this might lead you to a vulnerable emotional and mental state. If you lack a strong foundation in your relationships, things may get chaotic and the result is more damage than the pandemic itself.
Gratitude: Except for weekends, you may have never seen how your spouse or parents managed daily chores at home. Try to switch roles for a day, if you make it by the end of the day, in all likelihood you will develop a sense of gratification for your spouse or parents. Expressing gratitude for our loved ones will boost the harmony. As a result, most of your complaints might just turn into thanks.
Patience: We all know the biggest downside of working from home is distractions, and the ability to stick to a routine. You’re the captain of the ship; while there may be something or someone to distract you, it might just help to practice a little patience.
Take frequent short breaks and invest them with your pets, kids, spouse and parents. Instead of letting irritation take charge, try to be a multitasker and work without letting anything or anyone get tagged as a “Distraction.” It’s easier said than done, but it’s worth a try, and maybe the end of the lockdown you’ll have better relationships.
Team Up & Show Some Creativity: We make resolutions all the time, ideas keep floating in our mind� but let’s get brutally honest; ask yourself how many of those ideas are actually executed? You wanted to do a makeover of your house, change the furniture layout, Write something, share your ideas with the world. It’s a golden opportunity to team up with your spouse and kids and do something creative. The idea is to do something together to rework any negative relationships.
Talk: A reputed institution in Australia did research on people with mental disorders. They discovered that more than treatment, therapies and anything else, the most effective remedy for people to overcome their disorders is talking.
Having someone to talk and listen to is the biggest and yet most overlooked virtue of human nature. 90 percent of your problems can be sorted out just by talking and listening as long as you both aren’t talking at the same time. So go ahead, take care of each other’s emotions and value your relationship as much as you value your own well being.
Create a Rescue Plan: People who used this unprecedented time to better their lives and relations will make the most in an otherwise dreadful situation. Planning your life ahead, adopting gratitude, patience and mindfulness in your personality can actually open a whole new horizon for you.
Bringing the change is easier than maintaining it. Having strong and happy relationships with people does not mean that conflicts will never arise, but it might change how you deal with these conflicts.
Craft a rescue plan if any such situation arise, promise yourself and others that you don’t spray fuel on the fire. Talk it out. Value people in your life.
