Post News Network
Bhubaneswar, Sept 16: Thirty-seven-year-old Anupam Tripathy was overjoyed when he along with her wife decided to adopt a child after trying other biological means of conceiving a child of their own. Buoyed by the hope of enjoying a healthy parenthood and the sense of noble service, the couple soon adopted a child with the hope of filling the void in their family.
However, their euphoria was short-lived. Soon after adoption they witnessed bitter reactions from close relatives who were reluctant to accept the adopted kid. “After a battery of cumbersome exercises we managed to get legal guardianship of a child. But soon we realised that he was discriminated among other kids by many close relatives. It was a jolt to us and was very disappointing. Later we realised we should have consulted and counseled the relatives before taking the step,” said Anupam.
Like Anupam there are others who face more or less similar kinds of problems when they adopt a child. Besides the hurdles of upbringing a child, numerous other problems beset couples who dare to take a different turf for attaining parenthood.
Experts say when a couple adopts a child a number of things should be kept in mind to ward off likely problems in future. Speaking to Orissa POST, Namrata Chadda, member of Juvenile Justice Board, said, “A thorough discussion is needed before adopting a child. Mutual understanding of the spouses and close relatives ought to be taken. There are many instances when even the grandparents do not accept their adopted kids and they are then made to suffer emotionally.”
Chadda also says that a number of complex issues later crop among the families relating to the child. “Often the problem of property disputes comes to the fore and many show reluctance to give any part of property to the new member. However, according to laws, no adopted child can be denied any such right.”
Psychologists say it is tantamount to tell the child about adoption at the right age. “It is always a better idea to tell the child about adoption at an early age to prevent a shock later in life. They must be told that although they are not born from the parents who have adopted them but they are nevertheless a precious gift in their lives. They also need to build a strong bond to shield the kids from unwanted comments from outsiders,” says Prachi S Vaish, a clinical psychologist.
The psychologist also says that the children who are adopted sometimes feel isolated and separated in society and sometimes they gain the urge to reunite with their biological parents. Also, many a times, they suffer from low self-esteem. Moreover, parents sometimes suffer due to lack of knowledge of medical and genetic history.
Many working in the field, meanwhile, say many times the long course of actions relating to adoption dampen the very spirit of adoption. Sarala Behera, secretary of Cuttack-based adoption centre Basundhara said, “The whole process of adoption till now is very complex. If people are lucky they get things done in six-eight months, otherwise it takes over a year or a couple of years with many agencies involved in the process and each agency taking its own time.”
However the government recently started an online service for adoption which gives the provision of online application and tracing of applications by prospective parents. They were also given the power to choose scrutiny agencies of their own.
Child Welfare Committee in the whole process plays a pivotal role in declaring the child free for adoption. Member from the panel say the new policy has widened the provisions of adoption. Benudhar Senapti, member of Child Welfare Committee, Khurda said, “The new policy that came into effect from August 1 has given a new dimension to the process. Now single parents and even transgenders have got more powers to adopt kids. Many adoption agencies have also now shut down due to the entire process going online. Also now the responsibility of scrutinising abandoned and surrendered kids has become fairer. ”
