For most people, just completing a marathon of 42 km would be a major achievement. But that’s a walk in the park for ultra runners like 35-year-old Sufiya Khan of Delhi.
Khan was recently certified by the Guinness World Records for the “fastest time to travel the Indian Golden Quadrilateral on Foot” by a female. She completed the 6,002-km journey along the highway network connecting Delhi, Mumbai, Kolkata and Chennai in 110 days, 23 hours and 24 minutes.
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Ultrarunning is her passion and she left a job in the aviation industry to dedicate herself to it. According to Dictionary.com, the word “ultra” means “going beyond what is usual or ordinary; excessive; extreme.”
It seems to me that people go “ultra” in so many ways, not just running, and don’t receive adequate credit for it. Here are just some examples of the ultra choices that people are making:
1. Ultra Eating: This often happens when people visit restaurant buffets. They stuff themselves with food. Ultra eating is virtually the opposite of ultra running. While ultra runners keep moving forward to reach the finish line, ultra eaters keep moving sideways to reach more food. Many ultra runners lose weight during their runs, whereas ultra eaters only lose the top buttons in their pants.
2. Ultra Sleeping: This is a popular activity among teenagers, particularly in my household. My kids sleep from yesterday to tomorrow and wonder what happened to today. Ultra sleeping is actually very beneficial, not just for the teenage brain, which needs sleep to restore itself, but also for the adult brain, which needs long breaks from teenagers.
3. Ultra Bingeing: A “binge” is a short period of excessive indulgence in something, so ultra bingeing is a marathon session of bingeing. In this case, I am referring to people who binge on TV, watching many hours of movies or shows in one sitting. You have to be fairly young to ultra binge. My kids can do it: watch 20 episodes of a TV show, then sleep for 20 hours.
4. Ultra Drinking: A lot of ultra drinking involves alcohol and takes place in bars (or pubs). This is the unhealthy kind of ultra drinking, the kind that may damage your heart, liver or other organs. But there’s also a healthy kind of ultra drinking. This involves drinking water – and lots of it. I’ve seen some people walking around with water bottles that are so large, kingfish would be happy to swim in them.
5. Ultra Praying: No matter your religion, you’ve probably come across people who engage in ultra prayers. In the midst of their prayers, you find yourself praying, too – praying that their prayers will end soon. But your prayer is no match for theirs, because not only are they praying for the strength to keep praying, they’re also praying that you’ll soon realise you don’t have a prayer.
6. Ultra Baking: I’m not talking about people participating in the Great British Bake Off or anything like that. I’m talking about all the white people who feel the need to bake themselves in the sun. Some of them lie outside for several hours at a time, trying to get a little darker. You’ll see them at the beach, spending more time in the sun than in the water. Meanwhile, many of the dark-skinned people are trying to do the opposite: get lighter. Some
do this with lightening creams, but most just avoid the sun like
a plague. They stay in the shade
as much as possible, then complain when I describe them as “ultra shady.”
7. Ultra Thinking: This is perhaps the highest form of human existence. Ultra thinkers are the reason why the human race has advanced so much, the reason we’re no longer hunters and gatherers. Except, of course, when we’re hunting for the latest iPhone or gathering the courage to ask the boss for a raise.
Perhaps I need to give this a little more thought.
