Recently, three girls (siblings) attempted suicide at Patalakanda village under Biramitrapur police limits in Sundargarh district by consuming phenyl. Fortunately, their lives could be saved. They took the step because of their parents were strict disciplinarians and the girls felt suffocated. This rang an alarm bell for other parents in the state. With more school going kids preferring their own space, Orissa POST interacts with some women to know how they deal with the issue.
Bhubaneswar-based Kalyani Parida has a daughter and she said, “Some people believe that strict parenting helps in shaping children’s future in a better manner. But it doesn’t hold true always. Moreover, it often creates behaviour issues. Strictness affects the self-esteem of a child and he behaves worse than an average child. So, I keep vigil on her studies and explain her the pros and cons of everything. I believe, it will help her to take the right decision when she grows up.”
Sunita Sahoo of Cuttack said, “No one is perfect. We all are susceptible to make mistakes. Therefore, we should be considerate with our kids when they commit mistakes. They shouldn’t be punished for that. Sometimes, a mild rebuke and reprimand make the kids mend their ways while physical punishment can be a big blow to their confidence. So, it is important to offer some space to the children. Who knows they can achieve something big by experimenting with their creativity.”
Maitri Das of Bhubaneswar said, “No doubt, all parents are concerned about the future of their children. But sometimes, they get carried away by the circumstance and become strict with their kids. There is a need to understand child psychology. No matter, how busy we are, we have to make time for your children. We need to make them realise of our love and care. This will make them understand us better and they won’t take any harsh decision even if we become strict with them on occasions.”
“Sometimes children of strict parents behave well in the presence of their parents but do the opposite behind their back. So, it is important to win kids’ confidence instead of becoming too harsh with them,” she added.
Swarnamudra Mishra, a psychologist, of Jajpur said, “The common perception is that strict parenting produces better-behaved kids but it also has certain disadvantages. Studies suggest that children raised with a strict parenting tend to be more irritated and rebellious as teenagers. This apart, they will not open-up even if when they are in trouble.”
Sibani Sinha, a Bhubaneswar-based teacher was of the view that, “Parents become strict believing that their kids won’t make any mistake in life and will grow up to become perfectionists in whatever they do. But it can also backfire. The case of those girls of Sundargarh who tried to end their lives is an example. Strict parents tend to limit individuality of their kids which makes the latter believe that they are to perform a certain fixed role. As a result they follow whatever their parents have to say or believe in without raising any doubt. In the process they end up becoming underachievers.”