By Melvin Durai
If you know the names of your neighbours and have a good relationship with them, consider yourself lucky. My wife, Malathi, and I certainly do. We have such a good relationship with our neighbours that they don’t think twice about coming to our door and asking for a favour. Just the other day, one of them asked, “Can you do us a big favour and turn your stupid music down?” Actually, we never blast our music, so the neighbours have no reason to complain about it. And even if we played our music loudly, they’re the type of neighbours who would knock on our door merely to compliment our fine taste in music. Jenna (neighbour): “What kind of music is that?” Malathi: “Tamil movie songs. Do you like them?” Jenna: “Yes, I listen to them all the time. In my bedroom, in my living room, in my bathroom.” Malathi: “Really? Do you use Youtube or Spotify?” Jenna: “I use a Windows app. Every time I open my windows, your music enters my home.” Malathi: “Oh, I’m so sorry. I’ll turn it down.” Jenna: “Thank you. I really do like the music, but I occasionally want to hear what my husband is saying too.” Malathi: “Ha ha. I play the music loud so I don’t have to hear what my husband is saying.” Jenna: “Ha ha. I’d do the same if I were married to him.” Loud music is a common trigger of neighbourhood disputes, causing some neighbours in America to actually pull a trigger.
Thankfully, shootings are rare, but feuds are not. Neighbours quarrel about not just loud music, but parking spots on the street, unkempt yards, noisy dogs, and even the colour of their houses. Considering everything that can go wrong in neighbourhood relationships, many people are content just living peacefully with their neighbours, even if they never speak to each other. The relationship can be summed up like this: “You mind your business and I’ll mind mine.” But it’s far better to be friendly with your neighbours, as French designer Julia Chaigneau would undoubtedly tell you. “For most of my life, I never knew my neighbours’ names,” she shared in a recent post on X. “My parents didn’t either.
In Europe, neighbours are just people who exist in the background. You might say hi in the hallway, but that’s it.” Last year, she moved to Ahmedabad, Gujarat, and was surprised when, on her very first day in her new apartment, someone knocked on her door. “It was the neighbour from the apartment in front of us, asking if we needed any help or even food while we settled in,” she wrote. “I remember standing there, a little shocked. I had never experienced that before. Since then, we’ve celebrated festivals together, exchanged food, planned safaris, all these small things that somehow make everyday life feel more full.” I’m not sure what “planned safaris” means, but if Chaigneau is going (or planning to go) on a safari with her neighbour, they must have really hit it off. The closest I’ve come to taking a trip with my neighbour is walking to the mailbox at the same time. Having a good relationship with your neighbours can make a big difference in your well-being. “Living in India completely changed my perspective on neighbours,” Chaigneau wrote. “They’re not just people next door. They’re the ones closest to you. The ones who will notice if something is wrong. The ones who will open their door in case of an emergency.
Knowing that they’re there is one of the most comforting feelings. It feels like having a family and a support system you didn’t even expect.” If you don’t know your neighbours, I’d advise you to make an effort to get to know them. Just knock on their door, smile and say, “Hello. I’m your neighbour. Would you like to go on a safari with me?” It helps if you speak with a French accent.