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Union with your beloved after overcoming family opposition is a blissful achievement you wouldn’t forget easily. However, despite progress in thinking and overall liberalisation of social mores, convincing parents that your loved one is the best for you can still be challenging
Suppose you are deeply in love with someone you think is the best for you, but your parents deny the relationship because of stupid reasons like caste, financial status and other such issues. Would you fight for your love, or simply leave the person for the sake of your parents’ happiness? You may leave your love. But there are people, who despite going through tough situations, have never left either their parents or their love. They managed to convince their parents and are now leading a happy life with their sweethearts. They proved the cliché we have often heard, “All is fair in love” right. Orissa POST speaks to a few youth who made a lot of sacrifices to convince their parents that their chosen ones were just right.
Convincing parents is really a difficult thing as caste and social recognition is accorded priority in marriage. It is highly acceptable that marriages should happen within the same caste. But couples who love each other never accept these conditions, says Sagarika Dash who has a story to tell.
Sagarika, a Brahmin girl, met a khandayat boy Bapi during a NSS camp held on Utkal University premises in 2008. She and Bapi became good friends and exchanged phone numbers before leaving for their respective homes. They started sending texts. She was then a student of City Women’s College while Bapi was pursuing journalism. After six months of regular chatting they realised that both of them have fallen in love with each other and decided to talk over phone. But she was caught red-handed by her parents talking to Bapi one day. “My parents, as expected, imposed restrictions on me. The news spread like wildfire among my relatives who started giving proposals for my marriage. Every time I started giving lame excuses to ward off a proposal. Despite trying my best my parents consented to a proposal from Rourkela. Finding no way out I rang the boy’s elder brother and revealed everything about the affair. This caused embarrassment to my parents. But what could have I done. I could not betray my love. My parents were so worried that they were ready to solemnise my marriage with a tea-seller but not with Bapi. Seven years have passed and with the passing of each year our bonding has become stronger and stronger. In the meantime, Bapi has become a journalist and developed intimacy with my mama and brother. Mama did not have any complain against Bapi, but was against the marriage due to difference in caste,” said Sagarika.
“In 2014 I took admission in Masters in Social Work (MSW). I and Bapi were convinced that we were made for each other. We would not marry anyone rather prefer to lead lonely lives. It was then my parents said yes to my marriage with him. Finally, we got married May 20, 2015 in the presence of relatives and parents,” added Sagarika.
Soumya Mishra, a resident of Puri, said, “Marriage has no definition. It can be defined in many ways but an exact definition is lacking. Above all, love marriage is a different concept with a different meaning. In my opinion, love marriage is all about struggle and pain. I have gone through a lot in life. Actually, I was a bit lucky as my parents never tortured me physically rather they went on explaining the dos and don’ts of love marriage. I was in love with my hubby from a young age. So my parents thought it was an infatuation not love. They made their best efforts to convince me, but in vain. I, too, tried a lot to convince them and finally one fine day they agreed to meet him. What touched me the most was the tears that rolled down their cheeks whenever they tried to convince me. Things went on and we kept on convincing them. My parents told me that they would agree on one condition: I need to complete my education and be independent. They told me that once I get married after that they wouldn’t blame themselves if something goes wrong. I will be independent and will have some chance of survival. So I too worked according to their words and finally we got married with blessings from both sides. Today we are blessed with a baby boy and leading a happy marital life by God’s grace.”
Shreyosri Mohapatra from Bhubaneswar said, “Marriage is a legal union between two families in India. Parents need time to digest the fact that when you reveal to them that there is someone very important in your life. The first thing is to ask yourself whether you truly wish to spend your life with your love and his family. Then only you talk to your parents with respect and listen to their concerns and give honest response. We are lucky enough to convince our parents easily and they happily arranged our marriage.”
