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Make resolutions that you’ll actually keep

Updated: December 30th, 2020, 08:00 IST
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Melvin Durai


I have always loved this time of the year, mostly because it allows me to dream of all the possibilities that the New Year will bring. This is a time to make New Year’s resolutions and transform our lives. It’s amazing what a difference a few resolutions can make. For example, a few years ago, I was determined to change the shape of my body, so I resolved to “exercise for 90 minutes a day” and “avoid all forms of junk food.” After one month, I evaluated my progress and realised that I had spent 90 minutes a day eating junk food and avoided all forms of exercise. My body had indeed changed.

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What had I done wrong? I had set my goals too high. This is a mistake I’ve made many times in my life: set high goals and set myself up for failure.

New Year’s resolutions can indeed transform our lives, but usually not as dramatically as we’d like to believe. If there’s one piece of advice I want everyone to heed, it’s this: Don’t aim high—aim low. Aiming high is how most people fail. Some people have never exercised in their entire lives, yet they somehow convince themselves that they’re going to run for an hour a day, beginning on Jan. 1. This usually results in a long line at the doctor’s office on Jan. 2.

First patient: “Ouch, my foot!”

Second patient: “Ouch, my back!”

Third patient: “Ouch, my wallet!”

Trust me, you are better off running for 10 minutes a day consistently than aiming for something longer and wishing you had married a doctor. But here’s what usually happens to people: they aren’t happy with 10 minutes, so they try 20 minutes, then 30, then 40. Before long, their body resists this big change, perhaps through a muscle strain or illness, and they go from 40 minutes of exercise all the way down to 40 seconds of excuses.

It’s important to keep your goals realistic. Remember: small goals help you achieve big goals. If you’re hoping to compete in the Hyderabad marathon, don’t try to run 26 miles right away. Begin by running 26 laps around your coffee table. If you collapse halfway, don’t worry. You can try again tomorrow.

Over a period of weeks, perhaps months, you can turn your small goals into bigger goals. Just say you want to write a 350-page novel in 2021. All you need to do is write one page a day, right? That’s about 300 words per day, which is quite achievable. Eventually you may want to increase your daily output from 300 words to 500 words, but don’t do it until you’ve written 300 words a day for at least 21 days. That’s three weeks, which is apparently how long it takes for a habit to stick. After three weeks, the “new habit” is now the “new normal.” And soon you’ll have publishers telling you to slow down and give Chetan Bhagat a chance.

It’s also important not to give up on your resolutions easily. If your resolution to run for 10 minutes a day crumbles, create another resolution right away to run for five minutes a day. If that fails, try three minutes a day. You will eventually be successful, even if you’re running for just 30 seconds a day.

If that doesn’t seem like a big achievement, just take a look around you. How many people do you see running for even 10 seconds when there isn’t a dog chasing them?

The average person in big cities like Mumbai or New York runs for only 20 seconds a year—just long enough to take a photo for their annual “I ran the marathon” post on Facebook.

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