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The traditional equation between the sexes posits the man as the pursuer and woman as pursued. Turning this upside down doesn’t appeal to many women
It is a universally accepted fact that men should go out in the pursuit of women who capture their fancy. But with changing social norms, a lot of men seem to be sitting back waiting for women to pursue them. Their intention is only to flirt, say relationship experts.
With all the texting, Facebooking and numerous other ways of exchanging feelings, communication nowadays has ironically become non-communicative. Gone are the days of dating and expression of intense feelings. With the development of ultra-modern devices and apps, relationships have become super-casual.
For a woman, it is hard to believe that men have forgotten the delicate art of persuasion. But, never take the reins yourself, warn experts. Most relationships that begin as a result of a woman chasing a man do not have a happy ending, they opine.
Ruby Panigrahi, a banking aspirant from Anandapur in Keonjhar district said: “It is humiliating to chase a man, even one who catches your fancy and has all the qualities to be your Mr. Perfect. Never surrender your dignity and self-esteem for anyone.”
Narrating her bitter experience of chasing her classmate when she was pursuing graduation, Ruby said all she received at the end was betrayal. “I felt breathless for the next few months after the break-up. Life had become unbearable for me and I decided to meet a relationship counsellor. After my final examination, I met a counsellor in Kolkata. He told me the bitter truth: no man wants to get trapped. A man who wants to be with a woman all life runs after her all life,” she said.
“It was very hard for me to realise the truth,” she said, adding that even if you chase and catch a man, you cannot have him.
“You can be in a physical relationship with him but his heart will be elsewhere,” said Ruby.
Jayashree Barik from Bhubaneswar said: “I believe in the traditional way of thinking that says the man is the lover and the woman the beloved. You should always guard your self-esteem and realise that you are worth being pursued. You deserve a man who is willing to do whatever it takes to capture your heart. If you are still chasing a man, stop doing it.”
Most of the time we are so busy chasing a man that we do not remember that there are men who actually care for us and enjoy our company. They will later start avoiding us because we want to pursue only one man. As a result, even those who care for us would stop paying us attention, she added.
Biswadip Mohanty, an advocate said: “Being chased by a girl is exciting. Although it is hard to hurt somebody’s feelings I will never continue relationship with a girl who actively pursues me.”
“I will only marry one who attracts my fancy and whom I will pursue till I win her heart,” Mohanty added.
