Melvin Durai
A Hyderabad man who likes to take his family on long drives in his Tata Safari recently complained on Reddit about the “lack of proper washrooms/ toilets” on all his road trips, especially for women. He noted that he regularly stops at a few select restaurants on the highway between Hyderabad and Vijayawada largely because their toilets are “super clean” and “most hygienic.” But he wanted to know if there was a resource that mapped all the clean toilets around India. (Ideally, this would be a real-time online map, showing whether the toilet was currently vacant or occupied, and how fast he needed to drive to get there before another interested party.)
Among the Reddit users who responded, one person suggested downloading the government’s “Swachh Bharat Toilet Locator” app and filtering the results by “clean rating.” Of course, ratings are subject to manipulation. Business owners have learned that negative ratings from dissatisfied customers can be offset by positive ratings from “highly satisfied” friends and relatives. So what’s the best way to deal with this problem? Take a toilet with you! The Hyderabad man may be happy to learn that the Chinese carmaker Seres has patented an “in-vehicle toilet” that slides under a passenger’s seat.
According to a BBC report, Seres’ recent patent filing states that the invention would “satisfy users’ toilet needs on long journeys, while camping or while staying in the car.” In case you’re wondering, it’s not just a portable toilet that, once used, requires passengers to roll down their windows and hold their noses. Seres’ engineers have designed the toilet with a fan and exhaust pipe, allowing any unpleasant smells to be pushed out of the car (hopefully not into a neighbouring car).
While waste matter will need to be emptied manually from a tank under the toilet, it won’t be long before an engineer designs a system that processes this waste matter into biofuel that propels the car forward. Father: “We’re running low on fuel. Does anyone need to use the toilet?” Mother: “I think it’s your turn.” Father: “But I’m driving.” Mother: “Don’t you know how to multi-task?” Emptying the waste tank won’t be a pleasant task, but you’ll be glad to know that the Seres toilet is equipped with a rotating heating element that causes urine to evaporate and waste matter to dry. Seres’ engineers have obviously put a lot of thought into their invention, but I wonder if they’ve given much thought to an important aspect of using a toilet: privacy. It would be somewhat embarrassing to use a toilet with other passengers around, not to mention all the other travellers on the highway getting a peek. Perhaps the car will come with privacy curtains that automatically drop around you.
More likely, the toilet would only be used when the car is parked in a secluded spot, with the other passengers serving as lookouts. Father: “Be quick! Someone is coming!” Mother: “Please shoe them away.” Father: “Shoo! Shoo! … It’s not working. They’re still coming.” Mother: “I said SHOE them away. Throw your shoe at them!” While Seres has not yet announced any specific plans to install toilets in any of its cars, the company and its subsidiary brand Aito make electric SUVs, which are large enough to easily accommodate a toilet. Small cars will probably not have enough space. So what would you do if you’re driving a small car and need to use a toilet badly? Don’t panic. Just approach the driver of an SUV. You: “Excuse me, may I use your car please? I wouldn’t trouble you if it wasn’t urgent.” SUV driver (smiling): “Of course. No problem at all. I’m running low on fuel anyway.”
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