IN JEST THIS Melvin Durai
So next time you fly Air India, please do not ask for the lizard meal
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A passenger on an Air India flight from Delhi to London last week was allegedly served a meal that included a lizard. The reptile was sticking out from under a bun on the plastic-wrapped meal tray, with some Amul butter nearby.
A sandwich of lizard and butter did not appeal to the passenger, who screamed and took a photo of the lizard. The photo has since gone viral on the Internet, which means the lizard is now famous. Before long, it will be offered a role in a Bollywood movie.
It’s important, however, to make one thing clear: Air India has flatly denied that it served a lizard to the passenger.
So next time you fly Air India, please do not ask for the lizard meal. Air India does not serve lizard on its flights, even by special request. If you happen to be on a lizard diet, please bring your own lizards with you. Air India will be happy to supply the butter and bun.
I’ve never tasted lizards – or any reptile meat, for that matter – so I don’t know how appealing it would be. But I do know that airline food has a bad reputation already, a fact that I easily confirmed by interviewing a random man on the street.
Me: “How do you feel about airline food in general?”
Man: “It’s bad. Terrible.”
Me: “How terrible?”
Man: “Well, let me put it this way: I’d rather eat a lizard.”
Me: “Really?”
Man: “How much worse could it be? At least with a lizard, I’d know exactly what I’m eating.”
You might be inclined to agree with him, especially if the shelves of your kitchen are packed with Maggi noodles. The passenger should be glad that the lizard (or suspected lizard) was not merely an ingredient in his or her meal. INGREDIENTS: Rice, paprika, dried mango, deep-fried lizard, salt.
As evident in the photograph, the passenger could clearly see the lizard and thus had the opportunity to either eat it or take a pass.
Passenger: “Flight attendant! Flight attendant!”
Flight attendant: “Yes? What can I do for you?”
Passenger: “There’s a lizard in my meal.”
Flight attendant: “Didn’t you order it?”
Passenger: “No, I don’t eat lizards.”
Flight attendant: “So sorry. Would you like me to replace it with something else?”
Passenger: “Something else?”
Flight attendant: “Yes, we also serve snake and alligator. Those are
our reptile choices.”
Passenger: “No thanks, I prefer to remain on a non- reptile diet.”
Let’s not forget, however, that Air India has categorically denied that it served a lizard on the flight. The airline sent out a tweet that called the accusation “false” and “baseless.” It stated that it hasn’t received a complaint from any passenger about a lizard, nor has the Indian government found any record of a lizard applying for a
passport.
It’s worth noting, in the interest of fairness, that India’s civil aviation authorities received zero complaints about Air India’s catering from June ’14 to February ’15, according to a report in Scroll.in. It’s safe to assume that if lizards routinely turned up in Air India’s meals, at least a few passengers would have raised hell.
I hope Air India is nevertheless taking this incident seriously, making sure that it didn’t happen. If it did in fact happen, Air India needs to take special measures, such as (1) instructing catering staff to keep their eyes open for lizards; (2) setting aside any meals that contain lizards; and (3) refraining from servingsuch meals without
clearly labeling them “Non-vegetarian.”
We should also spare a thought for the poor lizard that got trapped under plastic in the meal tray. Did it really want to fly from Delhi to London? Did it really want to leave its homeland?
The least that Air India can do is offer it a return flight to India.
