Life has changed a lot over the past couple of weeks. The lockdown is on and we have to adjust to a new life for another few weeks, if not more. The nationwide lockdown has brought everything to a halt. From businesses to offices to schools to transportation to public places, everything has come to a standstill. We are spending time within the four walls of our house with only our family as company.
Yes, the lockdown has left us alone and cut us off from the rest of the world, but this difficult period has also given us a chance to spend more time with our family members. There’s more ‘me time’, bonds are getting stronger and many strained relationships are getting back to normal. The nationwide lockdown may have disrupted our social and professional life but it definitely has given us a chance to strengthen our family bond. Sunday POST tries to find out how the lockdown has also been a blessing in disguise for us and is helping us gain a new perspective on life.
You may be homeschooling your kids while working from home, spending more time in the company of your partner than ever before, or feeling irritated up in a house full of impatient family members who are desperate for their own space. However, the good thing is that at the end of the day, we all are together in the company of our family members.
The lockdown due to coronavirus has brought a host of new pressures and challenges to our everyday family life. But there are things we can all do to help us get along with our families better, maintain strong relationships and to try and avoid clashes and frustrations during this unprecedented time in our lives. Your partner, children and parents are your best company during this time. Try to spend time together and understand their feelings and emotions.
Spend more time together
While it might feel overwhelming to suddenly be with your family all the time, try to embrace this new time together, especially if it’s usually a rare occurrence. Lockdown is an opportunity, not just a challenge. This time could become really special as life becomes simpler and we focus more on our relationships and giving them the time they deserve. Think about the things you usually don’t get time to do as a family, and make a list of what you want to do together during the lockdown.
Revisit memories
In your daily life, you may not often get a chance to bring back the old times. But, you can recall them by looking at your old family photographs or videos together. Spend time with you near and dear ones and flicker through the pages of old albums. Recount the memories of how life was, maybe a decade back. Look at our old photographs and spot the difference in your looks. It’s surely going to make you rejuvenated.
Watch movies
Going out with your family for a movie at a Cineplex and watching an old film at home is a different experience altogether. Remember the days of video players and VHS cassettes and how we would wait for all family members to get free before sitting down together to watch a film. Repeat that. This is the idle time you can also indulge in binge-watching old or new movies that you have never seen before. Pick a few good Hollywood or Bollywood movies, grab some popcorn and call your family members to engage in this fun activity.
Cook together
We Indians love eating different types of recipes on a daily basis. It’s alright if you are struggling to procure all the necessary ingredients for a particular recipe amid this lockdown but you can still decide on a daily menu and indulge in cooking it together with your loved ones. This way, you would get time to increase your bond as well as satiate your desire for variety in food.
Don’t miss out on special occasions
Being confined to the house doesn’t mean that you can’t have fun celebrating special occasions. It can be a great way to cheer each other up and have things to look forward to. Throw a birthday party over video call, camp out in the garden or living room or simply celebrate the weekends over a lavish dinner.
Be patient with your partner and avoid criticism
Avoid criticism and contempt and try to be patient and generous in your communication. If you feel overwhelmed let family/partners know that you need a few minutes space rather than just storming off. If tempers do get frayed, give everyone the benefit of the doubt and try to work it through later when everyone is calmer.
Give each other the benefit of the doubt
More time together means more opportunities to get annoyed with each other. When we feel stressed, it’s easy to turn little things into big things and see malicious intent where there was none. Instead of fighting it out or arguing, create a rule that everyone will give each other the benefit of the doubt and assume the best. Couples in happier relationships tend to make “relationship-enhancing attributions” for their partner’s bad behavior by assuming it was something about the situation, not something about their partner.
Find out each other’s triggers
Ask your partner and other family members what their ‘tipping point’ trigger may be. For one person it might be that they feel people are not mucking in fairly with chores, for another that their privacy isn’t being respected. Others may feel upset that someone else isn’t being thoughtful enough about hygiene and health concerns. Make a point of taking these ‘non-negotiables’ seriously, whilst perhaps all agreeing to ease off on other things.
Take a break before things get heated
When there’s conflict, don’t be afraid to put a pause on it. This will allow you to have more productive conversations when you resume the discussion again. The trick is that the break cannot be spent ruminating about the conflict. You must take the time to do something positive. You can read a book, take a walk while listening to some soothing music, or watch some funny YouTube clips. Even better, if you can use the time to give your partner the benefit of the doubt or try to take their perspective.
Be forgiving of yourself and others
Be realistic about what to expect from yourself and your partner. The situation we find ourselves in is unprecedented. There is no right or wrong way to be. See the next couple of weeks as a time to work out the new normal. You cannot expect to be performing perfectly at your job, parenting, home-schooling or in your relationships. The same goes with your partner. Try to work out things together as a team. You may falter. At time maybe only your partner will falter. Don’t find faults as no one is a superhero. Be forgiving of yourself and your partner.
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